No more dumpster diving for dates!

So, you’ve gone on several dates and ended up all stinky. What’s going on here?

Are you picking the wrong people? Are there even good people worth picking? Do you need the latest dating app or best-selling dating book?

Maybe. But chances are there’s something deeper going on here…

Maybe you’re dumpster diving for dates.

Let’s Be Honest…

• Have you ever picked someone hoping you could fix them?
• Have you ever thought, “They’ll grow on me…”?
• Have you ever lowered your standards just to keep someone around?

If so, you’re not alone. But you are in trouble. The world is facing this same problem—and the solution starts in the mirror.

Identity: The First Step Out of the Dumpster

Each of us is uniquely designed. We think, feel, and choose differently. Your identity is what sets you apart—it’s the you in you.

But here’s the kicker:

Without awareness of your identity, you’ll struggle to find someone who truly fits you.

Why?

Because how you see YOU is how you’ll see THEM.
If your view of yourself is distorted, your view of others will be too.

It’s like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription—everything gets blurry. The first step to dating well is to check your glasses.

Check Your Vision: How Do You See Yourself?

• Do you have confidence in who you are?
• Do you know what you value?
• Do you recognize what’s not good for you?

If so, you’re less likely to date a liar, a manipulator, or someone harmful.
If not, you may be walking straight into the arms of danger—and calling it love.

Dating Isn’t Missionary Work

We don’t date people to change them.

We date to build friendship—to laugh, grow, and face both simple and hard things together. A healthy relationship:

• Has fun
• Builds trust
• Works through problems (not just walks away from them)
• Makes you feel safe, not small

Dumpster relationships, on the other hand, are full of:

• Intense jealousy
• Explosive, unresolved conflict
• Criticism and defensiveness
• Isolation from friends and family
• That constant feeling of “Am I going crazy?”

If any of these ring true, it may be time to take the trash out.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Imagine this:

You can talk about anything with someone, and they never make you feel unsafe.

That’s what healthy love looks like.

Instead of searching for the perfect person, become the kind of person who can:

• Communicate clearly
• Love deeply
• Laugh often
• Solve problems with grace

Then, go find someone who reflects the same.

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The Bottom Line:

🚫 No more dumpster diving for dates.
✅ Start becoming the person you’re looking for.