Inside out

Guess what I’m learning? I’m learning that we cannot find happiness outside of ourselves, it must come from within. Dave I thought you were a Christian, I thought you believed in seeing others as better than yourself. Ha these are elements of our faith where Christ was teaching his people to know their place in the kingdom. What we don’t consider is the fact that God made us, knit us together in our mother’s womb, placed His identity within us and is working in union with us to form and fashion us to our original design that has been hacked from the garden. Why is this important? Because we keep looking for our original design in a culture of consumerism that lures us to find happiness with our next workout, or our next purchase, or our next sale, or our next relationship….when all along happiness is to be found here now within who God has chosen for me to be. The paradox is the more I chase happiness the more it eludes me, the minute I sit quietly and am happy, then happiness lands softly on my shoulder.

The inner tension this leaves within me manifests in feelings of unhappiness which places a premium on my external world to pay me what I am owed to make me happy when all along it is luring me faster and faster on a treadmill called the Hedonic Treadmill which is the lie that if I run faster I will attain it. The fact is we are all exhausted from running. What if we stopped running, took inventory, counted our blessings, looked at our wins, and chose to live from a place of fullness in Christ rather than the emptiness of running. If we did this we would find peace that passes understanding guarding our heart and mind.

Where am I?

There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” Benjamin Franklin

If I had one wish I would wish for a map telling me exactly where I am in my life right now. Why this wish? Because if I know where I am I can chart where to go next. How about you would you like to know exactly where you are in your life right now? I don’t mean physically, we are talking about your stage of life, are you where you want to be? If not why?

God teaches us in his book of Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” How can this help me know where I am? God wants you to trust HIM with all your HEART. You heart is referring to your mind, will, and emotions in other words your innermost being. Trust in HIM with your innermost being such as how you think, choose, and feel.

God wants us to trust HIM and lean NOT on our own understanding. He wants us to think of Him in every situation then HE will direct our path. We don’t have to do life alone, we are to lean on Him in everything. Everything that matters to you matters to Him.

Choose right now to trust God with everything you care about. Tell him about it. Tell Him about your co-worker that bugs you, or your spouse that drives you nuts, or the lack of money in your bank, or your neighbor who has a dog that never stops barking. No matter how big or small choose to trust God right now with it.

Imagine what your life will look like if you took this one part of the Bible and applied it right here right now. Imagine what it would look like to have your path directed? Imagine how this would impact your immediate life.

No more dumpster diving for dates!

So you’ve gone on several dates and ended up all stinky. What is going on here? What seems to be the problem? Are you just picking wrong people, or are there any good people worth picking, or do you need to find the latest dating app, or read the latest dating book? While many of these problems may be occuring, chances are there is something else causing you to wind up stinky at the end of dates. Maybe you are dumpster diving for dates!

Have you ever picked someone to go out with in hopes that you can fix them? Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself that they will look better to you over time? Have you lowered your standards to keep someone around? My friend, you are experiencing an epic problem that our world is experiencing. There’s hope, this is a problem that can be solved. It starts with the person in the mirror.

We all have within us our unique identity it’s what makes us uniquely set apart from others. We each think different, choose different, and feel different with a variety of needs that span the globe. Simply put, your identity is the unique in you. Here is the kicker, without an awareness of or health within your identity you will struggle to find people who are a good match for you. Let me explain.

Without a clear view of who YOU are you will never be able to see who THEY are. Does this make sense now? How you see you is how you see them, if YOU is not seen accurately chances are your view of THEM is inaccurate as well. Think of a pair of glasses, they are prescriptive in helping you see more clearly. If these glasses are broken they will skew the picture creating an inaccurate view of self and situations. Are your glasses broken? Are you seeing yourself accurately? This is the first question as we learn how not to dumpster dive for dates. Check your glasses.

If you have good glasses meaning they aren’t broken, you will stand a pretty good chance of seeing yourself but more important, you will see others clearly. Seeing yourself is important in selecting friends and dates however seeing others clearly is vital to being able to determine whether someone is good for you or not. Suppose you know yourself pretty well and have a decent level of confidence, chances are pretty good you aren’t going to date and marry a drug dealer right? If you have extremely poor vision of yourself and others you just might meet and date a con artist, or a liar, worse yet, you may meet someone harmful!

Dating isn’t meant for missionary work. We don’t date to change people, we date to grow a great friendship that has tons of laughter, fun, togetherness and an ability to solve simple and tough problems without staying stuck forever. If you can do these things together chances are high you are in a good relationship that didn’t come from the dumpster.

If you are dating someone and there is intense jealousy, or every conflict gets hung up and blows up, you may be in a dumpster relationship that will never stop stinking. Here are a few other signs to look for in a stinky relationship: Criticism, defensiveness, you feel like you have lost your mind, your feel isolated from your friends and family. If any of these are what you are experiencing you may have a dumpster relationship.

Imagine what it would be like to talk to someone about anything in the world and they wouldn’t make you feel unsafe. This is what a great relationship looks like. Spend your energy becoming the kind of person that can foster this relationship, then go out and you just may find someone just like you in this sense where you share these traits.


3 Coins

Did you know we have 3 imaginary coins given to us each day? They appear every night at midnight and can only be spent in the day you are in. We have a great opportunity to spend these coins with great freedom to choose. Some of us will spend all three coins in one area alone such as work, or being a parent. Others will spend the three in three different areas like working out and work and family time. The tension we all live with is how to spend our coins on the best things and not waste them on the worse things.

It is important to evaluate how you are spending your coins. Are you spending them wisely? It is also important to understand how others are spending their coins. Suppose you have a friend that is constantly bugging you to go the gym and workout. Maybe you don’t want to spend one of your coins in the gym. Suppose someone is asking you to volunteer on a board and you are passionate about the cause, invest your coin there. Whatever the choice, choose wisely because the coins matter.

Let’s be wise spenders of our 3 coins. May it be said of us that we lived our lives investing in the things that matter. If you aren’t sure how to spend your coins, take a trip to a cemetery. Sit among the throngs of those who have gone before you and sit with the question in your mind then go spend wisely.


Like gold to the goldsmith, fresh water to the dry mouth, steady wind to the sail, this is what genuine friendship is like. Friends fill up and build up. Friends see what you can’t and share the possibility. Friends laugh with you and are for you. Friends seek to understand your inside world. Do you possess these qualities? If not why not? If you do not it explains why you have so few friends.

If you do not have someone you can call a friend, it is probably because you look in the mirror and call the reflection enemy. Be careful how you perceive yourself because the world will join in your narrative. Choose friendship today, first with self then with others. Still struggling? Ask God to be your friend, He is waiting for you to ask.

Call one friend today and do nothing but encourage them.


It feels like a wet blanket on a humid day.

It smells like a wet dog.

It feels like a rock in your shoe.

It looks like a beautiful blue sky day turned gray.

It leaks.

It creeps through the windows of your heart.

It is like water over a sandcastle.

It is suffocating.

It is constant.

It is inside me.

It is darkness.


Have you ever felt like this? Draw a picture for no one to see that describes what this felt like.

The Feathered Reminder

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26

God knows we worry. He thought of us when He created the birds. You see the birds are our constant reminder that God will take care of us. They sing a song everyday that is a reminder that your heavenly father loves you and will provide for your every need.

Next time you get caught in a worry trap, stop and listen. Listen for the birds. If you can’t hear their song you are too busy or too worried. When you do hear one, focus in and let the tune calm your worry. The birds sing the same song each and every day. The words go something like this, “I love you, I love you, I love you, don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry”. He told me to tell you.


What is one thing you can take from this to calm your worry? Share your story with us!

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