What I’m Learning in This Season of Loss

What I’m Learning in This Season of Loss

I am learning a great deal about loss—through the passing of my mom, my dad, and my brother, and even from the losses that marked the beginning of my life with biological parents I never met. None of this is a sad song; it is simply a reflection on what loss is teaching me.

1. Loss Makes the Heart Vulnerable

In Scripture, the “heart” is the whole person—mind, will, emotions, soul. Loss shakes all of these at once.
My thinking can become fragile, decision-making erratic, emotions unpredictable. The right response, I’m learning, is guardrails:

• No major changes or big decisions
• Keep life simple, predictable, steady
• Rest when rest is needed

Grief requires humility and pacing. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it is a signal to protect what matters most inside.

2. Guarding the Mind Matters

When the heart is open and aching, the mind must be carefully guarded.

What I read, watch, and listen to matters more than usual.
Decision fatigue is real—grief drains the battery quickly.

So I choose practices that strengthen me:

• Move my body (running helps)
• Listen to Scripture
• Replace dark or heavy music with life-giving songs
• Limit news intake

My profession requires emotional stamina. So does grief. I cannot afford to feed my spirit garbage.

3. Diamonds in the Dirt

Loss brings beauty in unexpected places.

• Old friends reappear—even after decades
• Kindness pours in from places I never expected
• Stories surface that remind me how deeply someone was loved

And yes—some go silent. Some disappear. It stings.
But I must guard my heart from resentment. Every check-in has been a deposit in my soul, and I am profoundly grateful for each one.

4. Faith Becomes Real, or It Is Exposed

Clichés don’t work in grief.
Bumper-sticker religion collapses under the weight of sorrow.

What holds is:

• Ancient wisdom
• Eternal truth
• Scripture
• The relentless love of God and His people

And interestingly, some who avoid organized church have been among the most kind and generous. People are drawn to God in many ways. I am not confused by that; I simply see that the Spirit pursues hearts in unexpected places.

5. Grief Reveals the Strength of Marriage

One of my greatest blessings in this season is my wife.
Faithful, steady, behind-the-scenes, strong when I feel weak.

Loss brings dozens of decisions and countless emotional moments. She has been there in every one—supportive, grounding, wise.

Invest in your marriage before life gets hard. When tragedy hits, your spouse becomes the quiet miracle that holds you together.

6. We Will Die

Loss forces the truth to the front: I will die, and so will you.
We were not created for death—that’s why it feels foreign.

But Christ has overcome death.
Hope is not a theory; it is the promise that this world is not the end.

Standing beside a casket reminds me:
Life is short.
Heaven is real.
Eternity matters.

And eternal life does not start later—it starts now, when we say yes to God’s invitation.

7. Grief as a Refining Fire

Grief hurts. But it cleanses.

Ecclesiastes says sorrow scours the heart—and it does.
It strips away what is petty and small.
It removes barnacles from the soul so we can move through life lighter, clearer, and more purposeful.

We miss the gift of grief if we numb it with distraction, medication, alcohol, or busyness.
We must feel it, sit with it, let God work in it.

And in time, grief gives way to wisdom, clarity, and compassion.

What Ultimately Matters

When the heart is scrubbed clean by sorrow, what rises to the top is simple:

What matters most is people.

We receive love from God, and we give love to others.
That is the point. That is the call. That is the work.