A simple 10-question checkup to help you strengthen your marriage.
Strong marriages don’t happen by accident. This Marriage Checkup is designed to help you and your spouse slow down and take an honest look at a few important areas of your relationship.
Complete the checkup separately, then come together and compare your answers.
Remember: the goal isn’t to prove who is right or wrong. The goal is to start a healthy conversation about where you’re strong and where your marriage may need a little more intentional attention.
— Dr. Dave
Dr. Dave’s 10-Question Marriage Checkup
Rate each statement from 1–5:
1 = Rarely true
2 = Occasionally true
3 = Sometimes true
4 = Usually true
5 = Consistently true
Dr. Dave’s 10-Question Marriage Checkup
- We enjoy being together.
- I feel emotionally safe talking honestly with my spouse.
- When we disagree, we can work through it without attacking, withdrawing, or shutting down.
- I feel known and understood by my spouse.
- We regularly show affection, appreciation, and encouragement.
- We understand and respect each other’s differences.
- We make our marriage a priority—not just our kids, careers, responsibilities, or hobbies.
- We can talk openly about difficult subjects such as money, sex, parenting, family, faith, and expectations.
- When we hurt each other, we know how to repair the relationship.
- I believe we are growing together rather than slowly drifting apart.
Add Your Score
Add your ratings from all 10 questions. Your total will be between 10 and 50.
43–50 — Flourishing
Your marriage has many strong, healthy patterns. Keep investing in what is working.
35–42 — Growing
You have a solid foundation, with a few areas that could benefit from intentional attention.
25–34 — Needs Attention
There are some important areas of disconnection. Don’t ignore them—use your answers to begin an honest conversation.
10–24 — Time to Get Help
Your marriage may be experiencing significant disconnection or distress. Consider getting some outside support rather than trying to navigate it alone.
The number isn’t the most important part. Pay attention to the questions where you and your spouse scored differently. That’s where the conversation begins.
Want to Strengthen Your Marriage?
A strong marriage isn’t built in one conversation. It’s built through small, intentional choices made over time.
I’m developing more practical tools to help couples communicate better, understand each other more deeply, and build stronger marriages.
Keep an eye on your inbox. I’ll be sending you more marriage tools and encouragement soon.
— Dr. Dave Scott